Religion

A friend’s post on facebook triggered some thoughts on religion, so I expanded my comment (not science/policy related, so feel free to glaze over).

I grew up Hindu, or shall we say, Tamil Brahmin. In India, each community’s practice of Hinduism is very different, informed by place, caste, class and more, so calling yourself a Hindu is not very illuminating. I went to the temples with my parents, and felt a connection with something (in hindsight, it was the architecture, grandeur more than Ganapathy) I prayed (after a fashion), more for specific things like “Oh god, let me do well in this test” rather than anything. I participated in the ritual and festivals, like any good kid. All this ritualistic practice aside, my single greatest spiritual memory as a young adult (and to this day) is a 5 minute meditation experience I had with my uncle sitting in a simple Ramakrishna Mission hall. I remember losing connection with my usually racing brain and reaching what I perceived as a meaningful connection with God, but what I would now associate with a particularly successful mindfulness practice. I still haven’t quite achieved that sense of “levitation” since.

I remember being about 15, going to a really crowded temple (I think it was this one) and jostling with thousands of other people to get a fleeting glimpse of a stone (or gold plated? super rich temple!) idol, I lost my faith in one moment (at least, that’s how I perceive it). I persisted in going to temples and participating in ritual for a bit, hell, even going back to the same temple a couple of years later, but there was nothing there.

ganapathyInto my late teens and twenties, I tuned much more into the powers of organized religion to oppress, deny freedom and restrict behaviour. At that age, I perceived the community around me using religion (in hindsight, it’s much more complicated) to restrict my activities and censure them (oh privileged male!). I was very likely to lump the people with their religion. I did not believe religion to be a force of anything other than restriction and censure, and I judged the people around me who still practiced their religion in spite of “ought to know better”. I very plainly refused to practice any rituals, or go to temples. Leaving India helped as well, since I had no community pressure to practice anything.

Those years were ritual free (after a fashion), and I would call myself a primarily analytical person, using logic to solve problems (oh, so simple!). But, I did find ritual missing in my life. Into my thirties, I sub-consciously (at first) started to incorporate some ritualistic practices like morning coffee, regular gym workouts, and many other time based ritual activities as a substitute. My health and well-being definitely improved, though you could say the fact that I chose gym workouts as a ritual rather than bar hopping did not hurt! But, that’s really the point of ritual, isn’t it, to find the ones that centre you?

As I grow older, I am less militantly anti-religious and more likely to incorporate yoga, mindfulness, meditation and other behaviours that could be associated with spirituality into my life. But I see them as healthy behaviours, almost like exercise rather than connecting me to something greater. I went through a phase wishing I could believe in a god again, it would be a lot easier than having to figure it out for yourself, but that passed. I am still as atheist as I’ve ever been, just a lot more tolerant of other people’s paths and processes. I understand that everyone’s well being depends on connection, whether it is social, or spiritual or physical. If their practice of “religion” or their belief helps them achieve that connection, that’s just lovely (The last few times I’ve visited India, I’ve even let my parents drag me on temple excursions!) That is, as long as they do not end up supporting oppressive homophobic, racist or misogynist behaviour based on religion. I still believe that most organized religion is a tool of patriarchy and control, and cynically uses people’s need for connection to achieve political power and money, so no support there.

 

Similar Posts

  • Victorian

    Warning: Personal post ahead, don’t read if you don’t know me!

    Well, since life’s changing quite a bit, what with moving from Chapel Hill to Victoria and all, I haven’t been thinking of bloggable issues, which means this blog has been rotting away to almost nothingness. But, what the hell, mostly friends and the occasional person searching for sea turtles and/or India find me out in the far hinterlands of the ‘net. So, I will cater to my friends and post a personal update!

    Made it to Victoria safe and sound, though not without all kinds of adventures in the security line at RDU, place was a zoo of unprecedented (for me) proportions. But, a beautiful and sunny day in Victoria greeted me, and if I had not left my camera behind and simultaneously misplaced the SD micro card on my cellphone (its memory is full up), maybe I would have taken some pictures! I am staying at this place that is half hotel half hostel. The room’s tiny and spare, the place has a homely feel to it, the kitchen serves excellent food for four bucks, and has nice beer on tap. The place is alive and has character in a way a hotel would never have.

    Apartment hunting starts in earnest tomorrow. My very friendly bartender informs me that finding a place takes time, and that May 1 is a great time because a lot of students (it is a town with a decent sized university) leave then. But can I stay here for a month? hmm, don’t know about that.

    Jet lag hits, so I am going to take it easy. Tomorrow’s a crazy busy day with apartment hunting, applying for all kinds of government cards, etc, luckily, I am a few blocks away from city hall (this ho(s)tel’s location is impeccable.

    Adios, my brain’s fried and my eyes can’t focus any more, I’ve been up for 20 hours, time to wind down!

    Blogged with the Flock Browser
  • Random Fuel Efficiency Note

    Got 45.765 Liters or 12.089 gallons to go 400 miles on my first full tank in Victoria, which works out to 33 mpg, which is about 10% better than anything my car (admittedly not a terribly fuel efficient small car) has ever done. Why? Top speed on my commute’s 90kmph (or 55 mph), and that’s only for 7 km. The first 10-15 minutes is stop and go at 50 kmph which doesn’t do much for gas, but the rest is either 80 or 90 kmph, which is about the most optimum speed for maximizing fuel efficiency.

    Take home message if it hasn’t been proven a million times already, lowering speed most definitely improves fuel efficiency!

    I guess that makes up for the slowish commute. C’mon city of Victoria, get a fast bus across at 7:30 AM, not 7 so I don’t have to wake up at an ungodly hour to take it!

    Blogged with the Flock Browser
  • Rain in Chennai

    rainHard to believe, but it is raining in Chennai in the middle of  March.  Most people  I speak to  say that the last 3 years have seen extremely weird weather with rain patterns being completely unpredictable, rain in “spring”, cool weather this late in March, I guess the Chennaiwasis will take it, though the roads get completely messed up even with a few mm of rain. The streets are a lot cleaner, though the suburbs are still a nightmarish mess at times.

    Blogging has been non existent because I’ve been doing other things and I’ve been living without an internet connection, except for a half hour here and there everyday. So, no time or inclination, which is a pity, because Chennai is in such a state of flux that things happen everyday, there are pollution issues, transportation issues, zoning (or lack thereof!) issues, corruption, a dizzying pace of new construction, etc. Infrastructure can’t possibly keep up, but the authorities have done a good, if not great job in trying. Chennai has done a much better job than Bangalore, where traffic just does not move. Every month, there are new traffic patterns to try out, new one way streets, new flyovers and intersections, seriously, for someone who used these streets every day for many years, I find myself getting lost because I just can’t drive by landmark any more.

    Oh well, there’s still some greenery and beauty to be had, I went birding in Nanmangalam, in the Southern “suburbs” (no white picket fences in these suburbs!) and had the most wonderful time catching up with some old bird friends, the bulbuls, mynahs, bee eaters, cuckoos of various kinds, pheasants, raptors. kingfishers, babblers, warblers, snipes, many more, and my very favorite, the Great Horned Owl!! (the link is to an article detailing captive breeding of the owl in the forest I was in yesterday).

    Owl

    If you peek really hard, you will see the owl in the center of your picture, courtesy my 3X point and shoot (look up from the patch of white bird droppings, that is how we found the bird!). It’s a great site for birding, low scrub forest, and the birds pretty much show themselves, not very hard!

    So long, back in the US next week, thank heavens for always on wireless!

  • Leaving Chapel Hill

    I’ve lived in Chapel Hill for over 10 years, encompassing a Ph. D, a marriage, a few jobs, cats, many wonderful friends and a blog that to this day proceeds in fits and starts. But, my time here is finally at an end. I accepted a job offer to move to Victoria, BC. It’s on Vancouver Island and quite breathtakingly beautiful in an almost throwaway fashion!

    Photo Courtesy flickr – Allie Wojtaszek’s photo stream.

    I am not kidding, the island’s just incredibly beautiful.

    Anyways, I will be heading out for a long vacation in Chennai, back for 10 days or so, then leaving end of March to start work. Blogging for the next week or so should be normal (as in, no rhythm, rhyme or reason!). Once I get to Chennai, blogging will be sporadic as my parents don’t have internet and I am too lazy to set up a connection for a month!

    Once I get to Victoria, blogging will, of course, resume, though I guess I’ll still remain pseudo anonymous (not that too many people care!). I will be working for a company that works very closely with the EPA and Environment Canada and things get delicate when you work with the government and criticize them! It will be interesting to see where this blog goes, though I will refrain from the usual gee whiz look at that beautiful scenery posting!

    If you know people on Vancouver island you can hook me up with, please email /leave a comment. I don’t move that often, and I can’t rely on seeing familiar faces on Franklin Street and the Weaver Street Market any more!

    S. is staying in Chapel Hill for a little longer, she loves her work and just started it!

    It’s been fun living here, but all good things must pass.

    Blogged with Flock

  • Post-Retreat Brain

    I took time recently to attend a 3 day (mostly) silent meditation retreat by a beautiful lake recently. I’ll write about my retreat experience in a bit but I wanted to remind myself of the immediate effects post-retreat

    Picture of a human brain just for illustrative purposes
    • When I came out of the retreat and drove back from Nanaimo to Victoria, that was my first time out in the world post-retreat. Every sense was much clearer, it was like I had walked out of a sense fog. I just drove back, the nearly 2 hours with the stereo completely off. I was just contemplative and present, observing the world passing by me, wild!
    • I had put away my phone on airplane mode for the retreat. While it did come back on, and I am using it, my relationship with the phone has changed fundamentally. no more random pickups, no browsing while walking, way less listening to music to quiet the mind. My consumption is >90% intentional now and I am able to notice when I drift to “browse” mode. Same with my laptop, tablet etc. I am still using all of these things, just not the same way
    • I have spent zero time on social media in 10 days, and I don’t miss it at all. I assume I’ll get back to some of it one of these days
    • I have consumed way way less news, I have not opened the IOS news app which I used to read all day. I still look at my rss feeds and check local news, but I’m now a bit out of touch. I’ll want to be a bit more in touch soon, but no hurry!
    • So little YouTube! I’ve only used it for workouts, yoga etc. I used to watch sports highlights, gone, distract myself with random videos, gone!
    • I’ve watched an episode or three of Stranger Things with my partner at night, but it has also been intentional and reminds me of watching TV in the 90s!
    • Okay, enough about the browsing! Physically, I get through chores and physical tasks I used to find challenging effortlessly, whether it’s picking stuff up and putting it away, dishes, cooking, laundry. It’s just happening
    • I am thinking much more clearly, I can see it most obviously in work contexts. Whether that leads to better quality of work or not, too early to say. I am more focused, and more likely to notice when I lose focus. I have been aware that I lose focus and drive when I hit an obstacle, a challenging task, or similar. I used to let my brain get distracted and browse away. Now I’m more likely to take a breath or three, observe that I am stuck on something and decide mindfully to try again, or set it aside and do something else
    • My sweet and salty snacking has pretty much gone away, not completely, but to a very large extent. I used to snack every half hour it seemed like, so much! Now it’s fruit for the most part, less frequently, which I love. I taste my food so much more, I’m paying attention to what I’m eating. I have not looked at my phone, watched a video, read a book, nothing at all while eating. It’s either been just eating, or talking. I guess the one exception is my afternoon popcorn snack, which I’ve been working through, Even that has been an intentional choice. I enjoy the F out of my post-lunch and post-dinner desserts!
    • My stomach feels a bit more settled, whether that’s a consequence of the snack reduction or being calmer
    • I am way more present in conversation, don’t look at my phone or zone out. Exception as this week had been a ridiculously busy work week and I kept getting notifications that were likely time sensitive, which meant quick watch checks, which I have noticed and tried to limit.
    • I really notice when I’ve gotten lost in thought and zoned out, the attention comes back soon after I notice.
    • I still feel angry, impatient sometimes, sad, happy, all the emotions. I do notice and remark upon them as I notice
    • I am practicing mindfulness again, 20 minutes a day or so and I feel like my brain really needs it to calm down. I frequently have nano-moments, a few breaths at a time to centre and come back to presence
    • I’m not sleeping any better, but I was sleeping just fine previously, and I already had great sleep hygiene
    • I am a more patient parent, for sure!

    I typed this whole list with just one break, to take care of a quick parenting task! That’s not something I could have done, my attention would have drifted.

    When I attended this retreat, I deliberately had no expectations other than to participate with presence. All I wanted as an outcome was to feel a little less fragmented and to have a healthier relationship with the internet. This list (and it’s not exhaustive) makes me so happy!

  • Tracking my mail

    On the sidebar, you will find a new donut chart which is a simple cumulative count of the mail we get at home. The measurement started on the 19th of March, 2012, so not much data yet 🙂  Useful – Mail I will find useful (yes, including bills). Solicited – Mail I find marginally useful, but comes from organisations I support, so I guess it is okay? Junk – Well, you know it when you see it; RTS – Return to Sender, addressed to previous occupant. Canada Post charges quite a bit for mail forwarding, whereas the USPS does it free for a year, so people get better at updating addresses and not missing a couple. I have lived in my current place for 18 months now, still get mail for multiple different people.

    My Mail

    No particular reason to do this, I was just curious, and this article about the US postal service starting to solicit more direct mail (what most people regard as junk) customers just triggered me to post the results online. My perception is that the signal/noise ratio on my mail is very low, let’s see… The underlying data is in a simple google spreadsheet and the image is linked dynamically, so should always be current.

    Update: I don’t have a red dot on my mailbox, no particular reason, just supporting my economy and increasing the GDP, perhaps? More seriously, I would like a green dot campaign, where unsolicited mail is not welcome unless I place a green dot on my mail box for all unsolicited mail, and an amber dot for not-for profit, advocacy, political and generally non-commercial mail.

    Update:  Not tracking my mail any more, as you can see. It was remarkably stable at around 58-50% “junk”. Interesting…

    Featured image is of a letter box from Nepal, from flickr user manc72 used under a creative commons licence.